Broken
by Yami Dragoness of Dark
Summary: Want to leave. Can’t. Walls solid. Can’t get out. Someone help! Please! Please." Xiana was the Varia heir but even she can't survive forever in this hellhole. Waiting for help is always the hardest part. M for TORTURE! Side fic to Family. Don't kill me!


Yami: Okay my loves! This is another part of the Xi sibling one shot series. This is Xiana's. All background information is here:

To those who are new, go read Family first!I WILL TELL YOU NOOOOTHING!

To those who aren't new, this fic takes place during a time when Xiana is kidnapped by Avila Family, after The Accident that puts Squalo and Xanxus on early retirement from field work, but before Xiana and Dante become a couple.

I spent a looooooooong time arguing with myself over which of the parts of Xiana's life affected her most. In the end, I chose this part because it is the only time Xiana was reduced to nothing, and because it was the easiest to write...-clears throat- that didn't come out right. It was...um...oh fuck it. Yes it was easy to write this fucked up shit. Don't kill me!

Anyways, Xiale and Xixi's stories will be coming shortly once I've decided which events to do for them. Once I have all one shots done, I'll start with Xiana's multichapter, than Xiale's, Xixi's, and finally the twins.

Disclaimer: Don't own any Reborn characters, by now I think you all know whom I DO own.

* * *

**Broken**

Want to leave. Can't. Walls solid. Can't get out. Someone help! Please! Please.

"She's making noises again," complained the scientist sitting in front of the monitors watching the figure in the cell. "Can't we stop her?"

The head scientist glanced at the screens before rolling his eyes and pressing a button. It muted the noises. "The drugs are affecting her mind. We've got to make sure she stays alive until the end of the experiment."

"This is boring," complained the young scientist. His superior simply looked towards the ceiling and left to go administer another dose.

Door open…

Scream…Throat hurts… Hurts so badly… Dry and cracked… Get away… Get away! _Get away!_

They held her down, ignoring the screams and incoherent noises she was making. They weren't even words anymore. They had stopped being words after four weeks.

Make them stop! Get away! Pain! Pain! _Burning pain_!

She started to spasm, body twitching and trashing as the drugs worked their way into her system. Five scientists sat back and watched as their worst enemy, and favorite test subject was reduced to a babbling, shrieking mass upon a cot. Fifteen minutes later, the fit was over. Her body twitched as the last remains of the drug faded away, nerves and neurons misfiring. Weird noises, no more coherent than an infant's babble made their way past her trembling lips, cracked and bleeding.

They moved in with tools and wires.

"Mental activity unchanged."

"Blood pressure up."

"Body temperature is down."

"We need to change the sheets, she urinated again."

"Get blood and check how much of the drug remains."

"Should we try to run her through the maze?"

"If you can get her to stand up."

Yells. Orders. Poking. Prodding. She shrunk away, babbling. Get away! Leave alone! Make the pain stooooooooooop!

"Leave her."

Leaving…gone…finally…silence…quiet…sooo quiet…

"Ma…maaaaa…maaaammmmmaaaa," she stuttered, eyes darting back and forth from the doorway to the toilet in the corner and back again. "Maaaaammmaaaa!" She wanted out! The cell, so white, so quiet. Only echoes. Echoes of her screaming. Only leaving to go run the maze right outside her door. Run, and run, and run, and run, and run! If she stopped they zapped her and it hurt huuurt huuuuuuuuuuurt!

So long. Long time here in pain. Wanted mamma and papà. Wanted to go home. Home where there wasn't pain, where there wasn't hurt. Mamma and papà couldn't do much. couldn't save her this time. They were hurt too. Pain in mamma's leg. Papà couldn't shoot accurately anymore, his eyes hurt too bad. Hurt. Pain. Make it stop!

"Maaaaammmmmaaaaaa!" she gargled, blood bubbling up from her parched throat. It had cracked and bled during the screaming. Hurts more, but feels good. Warmth coating throat that hurt so much. Hurt like the rest of her. Pain. Pain. Make it stop. "Mmmmaaaaaammmmmmaaaaaaa!"

"I think it's all she can say," the assistant sighed as he watched the monitors. "At least she's talking again. Does that mean that her mind is repairing itself or she simply can't comprehend anything but wanting her mother?"

"The latter. In times of distress, an organism will resort to their simplest instinct, and the natural instinct of the human offspring is that their mother will always be there to protect them."

"What about the father?"

"Unless raised exclusively by him, the child is more closely connected to the mother. Notice how her hands are clenched near her mouth and she's curled up?"

"Yes…"

"Classic position for breastfeeding. Her mind is long gone."

"Hmm…"

.

.

.

Kick out. Scream louder. Fight harder. Mamma! Papà! Mamma! Papà! Help! Save! Please! Stop the pain! _Stop it!_

Hands grabbed at her, held her down. She fought harder. The door was open. Got to get away. Mamma! Papà! With a well placed punch she managed to fight her way out of their hold and ran through the open door, torn and filthy clothes her only covering in this cold, freezing, frigid place.

Left. Right. Left. Right. Straight. Right. Left. Run! Faster! Faster! Can't stop. They'll shock. Exit has to be here. Exit! Go! Leave! Safe! Got to get to place of safety outside not here.

Muscles in her leg spasm. She fell, and lay there, screaming. Hands grabbed her again, dragged her, carried her away. Back to cell. Back to bed. Strap down. Everyone but one left. He watched her, leering.

Helpless. Kick him off. Fight. Smash forehead against nose. Bone crunched. Blood dripped. Fists hit her, legs kicking. Make it stop please!

He left. She fainted.

The next time she woke, the straps were off. She huddled in the corner, terrified. Want home. Want uncles. Want aunts. Mamma. Papà. Xiale. Xixi. Damn twins…Dante…want Dante's smile. Ariel's laugh. Want out. Want out. Want pain to stop stoooop stooooooooooooop!

No sense of time. No sense of how long has passed. Days. Weeks. Months. Can't remember. Too long. Can't think straight. Can't talk. Just cry and scream and babble. White. Only white. Why was the room so white? White. White. White. No more white. Hate white. Evil. Horrible color. Means innocence. Lies! It's a fucking lie! Out! Out of white lies! Out!

The room shook. Someone banged on the door. It opened with a clang. She let out a wail, and pressed herself as far into the corner as she could. Go away. No more test. No more drugs. Go away. Go away!

Why was blonde boy standing in doorway?

"Xiana?"

Xiana? Name…her name…name was Xiana. Not subject 011. Xiana. Blonde hair?

The male walked into the room, staff in hand, moving it from side to side but walking to her. Knew she was there. How? Such pretty empty eyes. Blind?

"Xiana please say something! That's you right? It has to be. Please!" Hands reached out, gently –_gently_ –grasping her wrists. "Oh God, please tell me it's you."

Talk. Can't. Can't speak. Throat hurts. Don't know words. Only noise. "Mmaaaammmmaaaaa."

Tears. Why was he crying? Why? Did he hurt too? "I'm sorry…I'm so sorry." He was warm. So warm. So very warm. Being in his arms felt nice. Very nice. Still wanted mamma and papà. "I'll kill those bastards that did this to you…Someone!" He yelled. She jumped and began to scream. Yelling was bad! Bad! Ended in pain. So much pain. Make the pain stop! "Xiana, hush. Hush," he shushed her, running his hand through her hair. It felt nice. "Shhh, Xiana, everything is okay. I'm calling for help. Your Family is here. Family. Loved ones. Someone please help! She's feverish or…or something!"

Another man walked in. Green hair. How silly. Green isn't a hair color is it? Green. Green. Green. Hehe. His eyes were green too. He looked horrified. Never seen that expression. Only on blonde boy's face. Why so scared? Were they facing the drugs too? "Fuck!" Loud exclamation. Cringe, try to pull away.

"Mmaaaammmaaaa!"

Green hair rushed to her, feeling her face, her ribs, poking and prodding. Gently though. As though she would break. Didn't hurt. Felt nice. Soft pokes. She giggled. "Xiana say something. Anything! Do you know me?" Verde felt sick. So sick. This was Xiana but she didn't look like the girl he had seen grow up. Her skin was pale as white marble and as cold despite the raging fever. Most of her snowy skin was covered in cuts and bruises, ranging in color from black to a sickly yellow. Black hair matted and tangled like a jungle of vines. Her silver eyes, the bride of her mother's family, were horribly empty, filled only with terror and pain. Her clothes were ruined, and she was missing a sock.

Xiana. She was Xiana. Not 011. Not subject. Xiana. Hello you are Xiana. That's your name. Hello…I'm Xiana…take me from the pain? Oh! They wanted her to talk. Speak. Say. "Mmaaammmmaaaa…"

"What's wrong with her!?"

"We'll find out soon enough. Pick her up. Gently!"

Blonde picked her up, slipping an arm behind her back and under her knees. So gently. Would she break if they handled her harshly? Strong arms. Safe feeling. Safe. Safe. Blonde hair, blue eyes. His skin was darker than hers. Warm. Safe. So safe…Dante? So tired…

"Don't fall asleep. Please Xiana! Your mamma and papà are here, they've missed you so much."

Mamma and papà? No…no…hurt…they were hurt. Can't go on things anymore. Can't do much. Red eyes. Red warm eyes. Silver gentle eyes.

She reached her arms up, as though asking to be picked up. "Mmaammmmaa."

"Yes. Mamma. Your mother. And father."

"Verde is that you? Do you have her?"

"Yes! Go get her parents now!"

People shouting. Screaming somewhere far off. Gun shots. Explosions. Yelling, screaming, pain. Pain! Nooo! She cried out, shrinking against blonde haired blue eyes tanned skin Dante male. No pain. Screaming is pain. No screaming. No shouting. No yelling. Please.

"Shh," Dante whispered, kissing her sweaty, feverish forehead. "You're safe." He cradled her and rocked her, whispering those nonsense things parents tell their sobbing offspring to calm them down.

People were calling to each other. Familiar voices all of them. High low scratching baritone soprano alto bass. She saw them running towards her and the two males that rescued her and didn't hurt her. Silver hair. Silver eyes. Red eyes. Black hair. "Mmaaaammmmaaaaa!" Thin, bony arms reaching. Want. Mamma! Papà!

Xanxus threw his jacket around his eldest daughter before taking her thin, emaciated form and holding her close while Squalo fretted. If he had been a more emotional man, he might have cried, instead he simply held his daughter while she babbled like an infant in his arms.

Pain was coming back. Weird pain. Only felt few times before. When they didn't give injections. Hate injections. Hate not getting them more. Pain was worse. So much worse. Need injection. Papà! Need injections! Please! Please! Pain is worse! Pain last longer. Please! Please! Don't want long pain!

They were making noises, distressed ones, fretting over her. Green hair was poking her again. Hurt. Make it stop. Make it all stop!

Xiana let out a strange noise, like a hybrid between a scream and a sob before going stiff, eyes impossibly wide. Then her body went limp, eyes closing. "Get her to a hospital now!"

"Xiana! Xiana wake up, mamma is here. Voooiii! Wake up! Fuck it! Wake up now Xiana!"

"Stop it Squalo! You'll make things worse!"

"Let me go! I'm…Not…Leaving…Her…Again!"

.

.

.

Beep. Beep. Beep.

Fuck it! Stupid fucking noise! Make it stop. Head hurts. Want mamma and papà. Where am I? Safe? Soft bed. Not hard. Blankets warm. Room slightly chilled. Elbow itches. Why? Something stuck in elbow. Needle…Needle! _Needle! Get it out! No needles! God no! No! Nooo!_

Her eyes snapped open and Xiana hissed, raising the arm without the IV stuck in it to shield her eyes from the light. God awful lights. Why the fuck are they so fucking bright!? Where am I?

"Xiana?"

She blinked and turned her head to her left. A boy –no man –sat in a chair next to her. Blonde hair, dead blue eyes, tanned skin. Dante. She opened her mouth and make a gravely noise in her throat.

He smiled. He couldn't see her glare. "Xiana, milady! I'm so glad you're awake I…" he didn't see her glare. He felt her slap. For a few minutes he didn't say anything, then he smiled and stood. "I'll go get your family, they're in the café." He left, ignoring the daggers she was glaring into his back.

Stupid. No good bastard! He left her! Left her! For how long!? A hand rose and clutched at her head. Can't think. Why did her head hurt so much. More scars. Scars…so many scars…Avila…fuck them! Always them! Always them who hurt her! So many scars given to her from them! Always them! Head hurts. Make it stop. She whimpered as the door opened and figures ran in. Papà, mamma, sister, brothers, doctor, nurse, aunts, uncles. She reached for her parents and began to cry as soon as she was safe in their arms.

"It's okay," Squalo murmured, kissing her forehead. "It's okay. You're safe now."

Xanxus simply let out a sound almost like a purr or a hum of agreement. Xiana sobbed. The twins and Xixi crawled onto the bed, and cuddled up against her, little arms hugging her tightly as though they'd never let go. Xiale grabbed a fistful of the clean hospital gown she wore, talking to her about everything and nothing.

Dante stood at the back of the pack, a smile on his face.

Dependant they said. She had become dependent on the drugs. Had to be put into a coma for two months they said. It would take a long time before she would be able to talk and think properly again. The first week awake, she couldn't even spell her own name. Fits followed failures. People coming in and out, telling her their names, how they knew her, things she _knew_ but couldn't put together just yet. Only her parents she could remember at first sight. Even her siblings took a minute or so. Headaches. So many headaches.

And Dante. Every day. He would make a fool of himself. Try to help her. She grew more frustrated when he was around. Ariel kept bringing him, even with Xiana made it obvious she didn't want him near her! He had been capable! Able to save her before they captured her and even after. Three months in that prison! Three months! It didn't matter if he was the one who had finally found the hideout, the basement, the cell. Fuck all that. It had been three fucking months and he didn't come! Fuck him! Fuck him!

Four months passed. She could talk again, though the doctors didn't want her to yell for another two weeks. She could name everyone again. She was back to twelfth grade school work. No longer did she need help to do simple things. She could care for Loki again, who spent all day with her, regardless of what the doctors andf nurses thought.

She was getting out in a week. They promised. Everyone was preparing for her return home. Her siblings were in the room, talking, chatting, telling her about the going ons at home. Loki was stretched out on the floor by the window, basking in the sun. The door opened. In came Dante. He was carrying a big bouquet of pink lilies.

He handed them to her and grinned, "Here, white roses! I asked if they had silver or black, for your eyes or hair. But they didn't have any."

"…these are pink lilies," she told him softly, looking at the flowers.

Dante gaped at her, leaned in to sniff the flowers, paused, and then cussed so loudly and violently; it started Xiale, Xixi, and the twins. Loki jumped and looked around. Fuck! I knew they smelled weird but…shit…" he groaned and turned away, running his fingers through his dirty blonde hair. "Sorry I…" He stopped, and sighed in frustration.

A strange noise sounded from her throat. Everyone looked at her. Yes! It was a giggle. A smile pulled at the edges of her mouth, muscles that hadn't been used in so long straining. A full blown smile appeared on Xiana's face as she laughed, clutching her stomach. Tears of mirth bubbled up in her eyes and slid down her cheeks. Dante blushed before joining in.

When Xiana finally stepped into her home after over seven months away, it was to be greeted by all her very extended friends and family. Dante greeted her with a large bowl of chocolate gelato. She was never happier to be home.

* * *

Yami: The drugs used on Xiana are unnamed because they are based upon real drugs, synthesized and natural. For your own safety -and incase someone from the CIA is reading my story (shifty eyes)- they will remained unnamed XD lol I kid...or am I?

Remember! No killing me!!!!

Explanations:

Putting her into a coma: A way to deal with health problems that could cause mental damange, or is cruel and unusual, to a patient is to put them in a coma. When a patient is horribly burned is one example for keeping them in a medical coma. Most times they let those dependant on drugs sweat the dependancy out. Xiana's mental stability would have deteriorated, not improved, if the drugs were sweated out.

The maze: They combined the drugs with other drugs and things in an attempt to make a chemical/bio weapon capable of mentally killing someone while still keeping them able to give answers. That was obviously a failure. So they tried a different focus on the drugs, using it as a torture method used to break someone while still keeping them as a hostage to use against enemies. The main reason to keep Xiana is becauase she has fouled their plans over and over again, and was the main reason for the Family's downfall. Torturing her made them veeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrry happy.

Xiana's only word: Humans are said to be more connected with their mother because they are carried and birthed by the woman. Girls are said to be closer to their mothers because of their shared sex and what they have and will experiance. When faced with extreme mental trouble, or great fear, the mind can revert to a very childlike state, or child habits. If you've ever noticed a friend with an extreme fear have a panic attack and curle into fetal position, that's an example. The fetal position is a referal to the time in the womb. Connect with those things and the placement of the hands -normally fisted near the mouth or head- is much like a child in position for breastfeeding. Something mothers do to connect with their new child. Because of her mental distress and extreme fear, Xiana's mind pretty much shut down,going back to the time when she felt safest, that is, when she was a new born, being held by her mother. That's why she only said mamma.

Any other questions can be posed in reviews.


End file.
